I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
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Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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