WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am one with the molecules
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
