I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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