turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
