You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
