If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
