Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
