I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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