Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
