i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
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it was like eating out sand paper
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
MIDGETS
????
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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