if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
