hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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