Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize