If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
