If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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