I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
we're making bets on your personal life
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
