can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
