I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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