I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Last time i carry you out of a forest
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there is glitter all over my balls
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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