I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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