But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
