I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I could make wine with my vomit
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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