Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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