yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
