All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
