This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
