My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
