he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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