It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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