the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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