now i know why i became what i already was.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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