yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
