i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Even my vagina gasped.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Rumble strips road head = magical
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A+ Viking dick
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
