i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
