So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
