Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We need a shit load of segways right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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