Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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