I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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