So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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