There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
