Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
