I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
