So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
