K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
They are going to name an STD after you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
