Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize