I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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