Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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