I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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