At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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