Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm passing your future prison.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
