You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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