I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
