She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
