Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
