I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
third nipple confirmed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
