Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
