I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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