did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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