You smell like stripper and shame
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
