I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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