Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
love makes seman taste better
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
