try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
