Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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