You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
