i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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