Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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