Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
