K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Someone shattered a urinal.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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