where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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